Parents, we know you’re feeling a lot of emotions about sending your child off to college. Whether this is your first time, or you’ve sent your older kids off to college already, we’ve put together this guide to help you navigate the process.
Step 1: Questions to ask your child about college
To start focusing your child on their college search journey, you’ll have to ask them a few questions.
- What type of college experience do they want? Do they want to be at a large public state school, or a small private liberal arts school? Do they want to go to school in the middle of a city, or would they prefer a school that’s off the beaten path?
- Do they know what they want to study? Let them know that it’s okay if they are undecided–and check out our article on pros and cons for entering college as an undecided major.
- Do they want to participate in extracurriculars, like marching band, intramurals, fraternity or sorority life, or other clubs or organizations?
- Who will be expected to pay for college? Will you be paying the full tuition bill, will your child be paying the full tuition bill, or will you be splitting it?
Remember, your child’s college experience is theirs to make. While your alma mater might have been the perfect fit for you, it might not be the perfect fit for your child. Allow them to explore it on their own terms, and make peace with the fact that they might choose to go somewhere else.
Step 2: Researching colleges with your child
Your child should be doing the bulk of this step, but feel free to offer some suggestions. Don’t hijack the process, and don’t overwhelm them with options, but if you find a school that fits your child’s answers to the questions in step 1, feel free to share it with them.
Pay attention to the class sizes, the majors and minors the school offers, the accomplishment rate data that breaks down where the most recent graduating class ended up, and the safety of the neighborhood the school is in. These are all things your child might overlook, but are good to be aware of.
Step 3: Plan college visits with your child
As you and your child research more schools, you’ll naturally start to narrow down the list. Maybe this school’s class size was too big or too small, maybe this school didn’t offer a club or organization that your student wanted to be a part of, or maybe this school’s major your child is interested in has low faculty ratings or internship opportunities.
Once you have a list of about 10 schools, start setting up in-person campus visits. Online scrolling and virtual tours won’t give your child a full grasp of what life on campus is really like. You’ll have to step foot on campus to find out if it will be a good fit for your child. Do they see people who look like them on campus? Do they like the residence halls? Do they like the food in the dining hall? Do they have an opportunity to talk with students and faculty in the programs they’re interested in? Does the town or city the school is in have ample things to do beyond campus? All of these things will help continue to narrow down your child’s list. Check out our article on tips for preparing for college visits.
Step 4: Help your child apply to schools
Once your child has their list narrowed down, they should start applying. For a full list of what they should know when they’re ready to apply, check out our article on college applications.
Remember, this is their process, and admission offices are admitting your child, not you. We encourage you to help when needed, like proofing your child’s admission essay, but please do not complete any aspect of the application for them. Admission offices are attuned to how high school students write and communicate, and it is easy to spot when a parent or family member wrote for them.
Step 5: Apply for the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA)
The FAFSA is the only way your child will be eligible for federally funded scholarships and grants, and is also the only way they will be eligible for federal student loans.
Regardless of if you think your child will qualify for federal aid, we highly encourage you to file a FAFSA. You could be leaving free money on the table by not filing. In fact, between the classes of 2021 and 2022, $7.33 billion in Pell Grants, awarded by the government, went unclaimed because students did not file their FAFSA.
To file your FAFSA, you’ll need your child’s social security number, tax return information from the previous year (if you’re filing in December of 2024 for an August 2025 college start date, you’ll need your 2023 federal income tax return) for you and your spouse and an account on the FAFSA website. Here’s a step-by-step guide on completing your FAFSA.
Step 6: Have you child apply for scholarships
Scholarships are free money from the university that doesn’t need to be repaid like a loan. Some scholarships are merit-based, awarded to students with high GPAs, while others are talent-based, awarded to students in sports or the arts. There are also program-specific scholarships that are awarded to students in a particular major or department, as well as need-based scholarships that are awarded based on your child’s FAFSA. If your child has a diverse racial, ethnic, socioeconomic, or international background, your child’s school may offer scholarships specific to these minority groups.
Take note of any deadlines these scholarships have to ensure your child doesn’t miss out. Early fall of your child’s senior year is a common scholarship deadline season. For examples of the types of scholarships available to students, check out those available to Drake students.
Step 7: Consider financial aid packages
Once your child starts receiving admission letters, their financial aid package will arrive shortly after. This is where you’ll see what it will actually cost to attend that school.
Here, you will see a full breakdown including the sticker tuition cost (the cost to attend before factoring any aid), housing and meal plans if required, any scholarships they were awarded, and how much federal aid they qualify for. You will also see the total that your child’s account will be billed, which will be the total amount not covered by aid.
The financial aid package can be confusing, so we wrote an article breaking down an example package from Drake to help make sense of it here.
Step 8: Have your child make their college decision
May 1 is traditionally “Decision Day” for colleges and universities across America. This is the deadline your child must make their official college decision and put down their tuition deposit.
Your child’s choice should be theirs to make, but make sure whatever they choose is affordable for the person paying the bill. Once they make their decision official, celebrate! It’s a big step making the commitment to go to college, and you should be very proud of the work your child has put in so far. They’re not quite done yet though, so keep an eye on your email or your child’s email so you don’t miss any important summer communications.
Step 9: Register for orientation
Summer orientation is a crucial aspect of the first-year experience, no matter where your student decides to attend. The length of orientation will differ between schools, but this is a great time for them to start getting acquainted with life as a college student and start meeting people in their major.
Orientation is typically mandatory for your child to attend. Sometimes, schools will designate certain orientation dates for specific majors, so be sure your child registers for the date that is best for them.
If you choose to attend orientation as a parent, understand that you will likely have limited face-to-face contact with them, as this is the time to start transitioning them to a more independent lifestyle. You can always text or call them if needed but don’t be surprised if they’re too busy to respond right away. Check out our article on what to expect at college orientation.
Step 10: Prepare for move-in
Right before your child starts their classes in the fall, they will need to move into their residence hall. Be on the lookout for communications about signing up for a specific day or time, as well as information about who your child’s roommate is.
Have your child coordinate with their roommate(s) ahead of move-in to determine who will be responsible for bringing things like a TV, mini fridge, or futon to avoid bringing duplicates or piling all of the expensive items onto one student.
Once move-in day arrives, bring a box of tissues for the car ride home. You will be full of emotions. Check out our article on what to expect for college move-in day
Step 11: Give your student space
We know it might be hard, but try to give your child space for the first few weeks while they adjust to life as a college student. Chances are, they’re busy with homework, joining clubs, and making friends, and the last thing they want is to feel smothered by your well-intended texts and calls.
Give them the space to enjoy the moment. If you really want to make their day, a lot of schools offer care packages that you can send your child at predetermined times like midterms or finals that include different snacks. These are always a very welcome surprise and will put a smile on your child’s face.
Step 12: Expect homesickness
It’s natural for the initial excitement of your child’s newfound independence to wear off and leave them feeling a little lost or sad from missing their family and high school friends.
It’s also natural for your child to call you when they have these feelings to hear a voice of comfort and reassurance. There’s no need to rush to campus and pack up your child’s things and tell them to transfer schools because of a little homesickness. Offer support, because just about every person who has been to college has felt the same things. Try to stay as hands-off as you can while they learn how to deal with this new discomfort. They might even be surprised at how much that discomfort allows them to grow as a person and as a student.
